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Anarchy You steal a doughnut.
Ascii o Doughnut. * Squashed doughnut. _ Very
squashed doughnut.
Biff HEY! THIS DOHGNUT J0KS ARE PRITY FUNY
I"VE NEVER HERD THEM BEFOUR,, I L1KE
DOUGHUNTS BECOS THERE ALL SUGARRY.
British Rail All doughnuts subject to delay and
cancellation due to, etc.
Buddhism God is a doughnut, and God is not a
doughnut.
Bureaucracy The State takes your doughnut away and
then refuses to let you buy another
doughnut because you already have one.
Capitalism You buy a doughnut.
Catholicism The priest blesses the doughnut and you
mustn't chew it.
Christianity I was hungry, and ye gave me a
doughnut.
Church of England You know, in a very real sense, God is
a doughnut.
Communism The State sells you a doughnut.
Confuscianism Confuscius he say doughnut.
Cricket Thanks to Mrs Emily Crunge of
Lanarkshire for sending me these
delicious cream doughnuts. I don't
think there's been a >chomp< doughnut
article quite like this since Flapjack
posted one for the West Indies in 1823,
and he >chew< went on to win the series
by four wickets. He was left-handed, of
course; I don't know if that made a
difference.
DHSS You can't have a doughnut, and even if
you could, you'd have to give it all
back straight away.
David Owen When I was Foreign Secretary I would
have dealt with, etc.
Dictatorship Buy a doughnut, or else.
Douglas Addams Doughnuts are actually an alien life
form from a distant, etc.
Edinburgh Festival You watch someone else steal a
doughnut.
Edwina Currie Doughnuts are infected with salmonella,
tarantella, cinderella, valpolicella,
winecella, rockefella, umbrella etc.
Eunet.jokes What's brown, soft and sticky? ^L Give
up? ^L A doughnut.
European The State pays for a doughnut and the
EEC pays you to eat it.
Fantasy Just when you were about to starve you
find a doughnut.
Fascism The storm-troopers eat your doughnut
and shoot you.
Feminist Wimmin, doughnut, repressed, sisters,
male dominated, etc.
Folk song `Doughnut forsake me, oh my darling!'
Football 'Ere we dough, 'ere we dough, 'ere we
dough, 'ere we dough, etc.
Fundamentalism Doughnuts are an abomination unto the
Lord, etc.
Glyndebourne Festival You watch someone else steal a doughnut
and then listen to her sing a song
about it.
Hack R.I.P. ken 225 Au killed by a doughnut.
Health Farm You don't eat a doughnut.
Islam The religious police beat you up and
chop your hands off.
Kinnock Doughnuts are down 50% in real terms
over the doughnuts produced during the
last Labour government, etc.
Labour Party Socialism The State sells you a doughnut, only
there aren't any, and it's all the
Tories' fault.
Liberals Doughnuts are 50% the same in real
terms as the doughnuts produced during
the last Labour government, etc.
Local Council You can have a doughnut, if you pay the
right people.
London Transport Doughnut alight while bus is in motion.
Loony You are a doughnut. I am a doughnut. I
am not a doughnut.
Marxism The State takes your doughnut away and
gives it to someone who hasn't got a
doughnut.
Mis-spelt U bi er donut an u eet itt.
NHS There's a two-year waiting list for
doughnuts, but of course if you were to
buy one privately you could have it
tomorrow.
Notting Hill Carnival You watch someone else steal a doughnut
and then the police come along and nick
him.
Oligarchy You can have a doughnut, if you know
the right people.
Pentecostalism You feed a crowd of 5000 people on one
doughnut.
Poetry You are/a doughnut./I am/a doughnut./I
am/not/a doughnut.
Reality Just when you were about to starve you
didn't find a doughnut.
Scottish Nationalist Ye ken aboot doughnuts? It's cos of
they bastard English, that's why, an'
fuck off the noo.
Socialism The State gives you a doughnut.
South African Dese is for whites only. You bleks get
a dog biscuit.
Soviet Communism The State sells you a doughnut, only
there aren't any.
Stalinism The State takes your doughnut away,
eats it, and tells you that they gave
it to someone who hadn't got a
doughnut.
Sunday Sport Killer Doughnuts on Spanking Sex
Panties Rampage at North Pole
Swimming Blug blug blug blug fluffle doughnublug
blug.
Tam Dalyell The `Belgrano' was steaming on a
bearing 260 degrees, etc.
Thascism You sell a doughnut and buy a bigger
doughnut.
Thatcher Doughnuts are up 50% in real terms over
the doughnuts produced during the last
Labour government, etc.
Trades Union socialism The State sells you a doughnut, and you
go on strike.
Unix Sticky bit not set.
Waddingtons Doughnut! The new, amazing, fantastic
game for all the family!
Welsh Nationalist Onid oes chwarae maesteg doughnut
llanfairpwll defaid.
Wine Weekly A fine, well-rounded doughnut with an
amusing jam after-taste
Zen What is the sound of one doughnut
clapping?
Zimbabwean Dese is for blacks only. You whites get
beat up.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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