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I heard this joke from the Spaniard humorist Eugenio:

{ed Reportedly done by Howard Stern in 1982}

A man goes to the doctor and says:

- Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?

- I think that is a wose decision. Let's see, do you smoke?

- Oh.. half a pack a day.

- Starting NOW no more smoking.

The man agrees. The doctor then asks:

- Do you drink?

- Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer
  or two every once in a while

- Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions.

The man is a bit upset, but also agrees. The doctor continues:

- How do you eat?

- Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff.

- Starting now you are going on a very strict diet: you are going to eat
  only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese.

The man is now really worried. 

- Doc, is all this really necessary?

- Do you want to live long?

- Yes.

- Absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet,

The man is quite restless, but hte doctor continues:

- Do you have sex?

- Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!
	he adds hurriedly.

- As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more
  sex for you. None.

The man is appalled.

- Doc... are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?

- I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you is going to seem
  like an eternity.

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