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<><><><><><><><>  T h e   V O G O N   N e w s   S e r v i c e  <><><><><><><><>

 Edition : 2437               Friday 25-Oct-1991            Circulation :  8199 


VNS VOGONBALLS:                                 [Dick Binder, VNS Humour Editor]
===============                                 [Nashua, NH, USA               ]

    "The effects are fleeting and lingering..."

				- Overheard in a hallway
				- from Saul Rothstein (Chelmsford, MA, USA)

    "In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted."

				- CBS reporter during the solar eclipse
				- from Larry Klaes (Maynard, MA, USA)

    "A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he
    had run across."

				- Announcer on KZOK radio
				- from Wes Ono (Seattle, WA, USA)

    "He threw 110 pitches in six innings, and that's a mouthful!"

				- CBS baseball announcer
				- from Wes Ono (Seattle, WA, USA)

    "An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the
    agreement have reached an agreement."

				- Irish Politician on RTE radio
				- from John 0'Sullivan (Dublin, Ireland)

     "This is the biggest pawn that Israel holds in the whole hostage 
     equation."

				- BBC world service.
				- from Vasmi Abidi (Marlboro, MA, USA)

    "We have two incredibly credible witnesses here."

				- Sen. Biden at Thomas hearings
				- from Bob Ericson (Marlboro, MA, USA)

    "He's going to step down 'til he's back on his feet."

				- Vermont Public Radio commentator on Jimmy
				  Swaggart's latest sex scandal
				- from Mike Knauer, Burlington

    ***  Here we have three issues of Private Eye's Colemanballs,  ***
    ***  thanks - as always - to the nimble fingers of Nick Hill.  ***

    "Are there any more great swimmers in the pipeline?"

				- Cliff Morgan, BBC Radio 4

    "Andre Vandapole has four silver medals in cyclocross, and none of 
    them gold."

				- Phil Liggott, Channel 4 TV

    "That race was all about competition."

				- David Coleman, ITV

    "And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us."

				- Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3

    Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for?
    Listener:     Mining and Engineering Services.
    Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do: is it mining and 
                  engineering services?

				- BBC Radio 1

    "Marling - unbeaten in her three victories."

				- Peter O'Sullivan, BBC2 TV

    "Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets."

				- James Hunt, BBC2 TV

    "A church spire nestling among the trees... there's probably a 
    church there too."

				- Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV

    "Well, I shall remember that catch for many a dying day."

				- Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3

    Interviewer:    So you are the camp co-ordinator.  What does that 
                    entail?
    Venture Scout:  Well, basically, I co-ordinate the camp.

				- '8.15 From Manchester', BBC1 TV

   "We don't appear to have Jim Fish on the line at the moment."

				- Newsreader, BBC Radio 4

   "Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy."

				- Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV

   "There's nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging
   around like this."

				- David Coleman, BBC 1 TV

   "Not being in the Rumbelows Cup for those teams won't mean a row  of
   beans, 'cos that's only small potatoes."

				- Ian St John, ITV

   "Oldham are leading 1-0, a well deserved victory at this stage of 
   the game."

				- Tommy Docherty, Picadilly Radio

         *** Send VOGONballs to VORTEX::CALIPH::BINDER, not to VNS ***
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    Permission to copy material from this VNS is granted (per DIGITAL PP&P)
    provided that the message header for the issue and credit lines for the
    VNS correspondent and original source are retained in the copy.

<><><><><><><><>   VNS Edition : 2437      Friday 25-Oct-1991   <><><><><><><><>

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