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It's the first session of the Ukranian parliament
and Kravchuk is presiding. He's a little nervous
because of all the Western press and he wants to make
a good impression:

He thinks: "Who shall I get to give the opening speech?"
He looks across the room: "No, not Kalinev from the 
Nationalist Party. He'll say that we should hang all
the Westerners."
He looks to the other side: "Hm. I better not call on
Korlenko from the Slavic Union Party. He'll say that
we should drown all the Jews."
He looks way in the back: "Ah. I'll call on Orlovsky
from the Green Party."

Orlovsky gets to the front of the room:

"Fellow countrymen and representatives of the Western
press, I'd like to talk to you today about the environmental
crisis that is upon us. The years of Soviet control have
left us with a devastated countryside. Our forests have
been destroyed; our rivers are polluted. This is catastrophe
for our new nation, for if our forests are destroyed, where 
shall we hang the Westerners? If our rivers are polluted, 
where shall we drown the Jews?..."

(Origin: somewhere in the Commonwealth of Independent States.
Told by Neil Carrick, my housemate recently returned.)

--
robin
institute for learned scientists
northwestern university

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