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       As far as I know, this is original.  I first sent this as a memo
       to a friend at work.


       To:  Personnel
            Medical Records

       Re: Family Medical History
       My supervisor told me you would like an explanation of the
       hereditary diseases plaguing my family.  I hope you find this of
       interest.

       My family suffers from a variety of inherited eating disorders.
       The two most common afflictions are:

       1.  FATAREXIA NERVOSA:  The fear of not being fat enough.
       You weigh 400 lbs., look in the mirror and cry, "My God! I'm
       wasting away!, I'm just not fat enough  Quick!  The twinkies!!" --
       Almost all of my relatives are fatarexics.

       I am not fatarexic, I suffer from a rarer eating disorder:

       2.  The AMNESIAC BULEMIC SYNDROME:  I binge and then forget to
       purge afterwards.

       For example, after eating half a cow, a 10lb. bag of potatoes,
       three cases of devil dogs, two gallons of Yoo-hoo and a bowl of
       jello (there's always room for jello) -- a typical
       breakfast,  I sit  down, dazed, staring at my fingers, looking
       towards the bathroom.

       I say to myself, "I know there's something I should be doing now,
       what is it?"  After several minutes in a state of confusion, I
       give up and call Domino's (they may be reactionary chauvanist
       pigs, but they take VISA).

       I hope this information proves to be of use.  By the way,
       the Weight Watchers class you recommended is right down the block
       from a great pizzeria...

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