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Who says lawyers don't have a sense of Humor?
My dad (George Duncan) and my uncle, (Bart Mallory, a lawyer in Memphis)
have had a running bet for years that when one of them catches a prize
fish, the other will pay to have it mounted.  This year, my dad caught
a monster and sent Uncle Bart the bill.  he sent us this back:
 
____________________________________________________________________________
AFFIDAVIT OF GEORGE RICHARD DUNCAN
___________________________________________________________________________
 
STATE OF COLORADO  )
                   )   ss.
COUNTY OF ________ )
 
	GEORGE RICHARD DUNCAN, being duly sworn, deposes and says
	that:
 
	1.  I caught a Walleye (hereinafter called "THE FISH" in White
	Earth Lake, Becker County, Minnesota on August __, 1992
	(hereinafter called the "Fish Story").
 
	2.  The Fish Story resulted in my landing this fish into the
	fishing boat without assistance from any other man, woman,
	child or dog.
 
	3.  THE FISH weighed, without insertion of any unnatural
	weights into THE FISH no less than eight and one-half (8.5)
	pounds.
 
	4.  I did not catch THE FISH in Strawberry Lake.
 
	5.  I did not catch THE FISH in McCrary Lake.
 
	6.  I did not catch THE FISH in Leach Lake.
 
	7.  I had the following witnesses to my FISH STORY (No more
	than fifteen required, ten of whom cannot be relatives and
	five of whom must be Indians with blonde hair.)
	[ The lake is on an Indian reservation. ]
 
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________	
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
		____________________________
 
	8.  I caught THE FISH on a regulation fishing pole and only
	had one pole working at the time.
 
	9.  I used a regulation leach and/or minnow to catch THE
	FISH.
 
	10.  I recognize that my brother-in-law is actually a much
	better fisherman than I am, but that due to my age and endless
	opportunity to fish, I lucked out.
	[ My dad just retired. ]
 
	11.  If my Fish Story is accepted, I will not rub it in more
	than an appropriate number of times.  I also realize my brother-in-
	law is a slow payer having become tired of paying all those taxes
	so that I could see the world.
	[ My dad was in the military. ]
 
	12.  I understand this affidavit must be submitted with a
	receipt from the taxidermist who assisted me in my Fish Story and
	that payment will be forthcoming, maybe.
 
	13.  In summary I understand clearly that there is nothing
	worse than being called a liar mush less a big liar (even if it
	isn't true.)
 
	 I SWEAR UP AND DOWN AND ALL OVER THAT THE FOREGOING IS TRUE
	AND WITHOUT A DOUBT THE BIGGEST FISH STORY THERE EVER WAS.  Further
	affiant saith not.
 
					     __________________________
						George Richard Duncan
 
	Sworn to and subscribed before me this ___ day of
	______________, 1992.
					     __________________________
						Notary Public
	My commission Expires:
	
	_____________________
 

-- 
# Dan Duncan dand@turing.org     dand@cscns.com               
#  KD4IGW     dbd2x@virginia.edu   IRCNICK=Installer 

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