Jake Baker, the University of Michigan student who faces legal
charges after posting highly explicit rape and torture stories about another
student in alt.sex.stories, says he wrote them "to rid myself of the
overwhelming anger I feel" (The Ann Arbor News, 18 Feb 1995). Hmm. One
wonders what kind of stresses the poor guy is under. With this in mind, we
present
THE TOP TEN SOURCES OF STRESS IN JAKE BAKER'S LIFE
10. Concerned that his Internet access may be cut off.
9. Moonlights as an air traffic controller.
8. Angry that his stories were rejected by "Family PC" magazine.
7. Scared that Adolf Hitler will rise from the grave and sue him for
plagarism.
6. Worried that he might fail his "Ethics 101" course.
5. Worried that he might pass his "Ethics 101" course.
4. Afraid that his story will be turned into a made-for-TV movie starring
Danny DeVito.
3. Fear of being stalked by Loreena Bobbit.
2. Paranoid that with a careless slip of the finger, his stories could
accidentally be crossposted to alt.karl.maldens.nose.
And the number one stress factor is...
1. Secretly terrified that, somewhere out there on the Internet, a woman is
writing explicit torture stories about HIM.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)