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[Another original piece of net.humor, from the people who
brought you "The Power Users Guide to Power Users" ...
Note 1: for those who don't already know, an LJBF is a person
who, unconsciously and subliminally convinces you that you are
without doubt, the man/woman s/he's been looking for all his/her
life, then crushes your ego, self-respect, and will-to-live by
uttering the four most awful words in the English language:
"Let's Just be Friends"
Note 2: To avoid the awkwardness inherent in non-sexist writing
(his/her, s/he, etc.) one has composed this joke from the point
of view of a male being LJBF'ed. This is more in keeping with
the author's own personal experience :-) No sexist sentiment is
intended or implied; female readers may substitute 'his' for
'her' etc. With that in mind...]
Q: How many LJBFs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, who will...
... call you up every night for three months and talk to you
for hours on end, about how bad her current light bulb is,
how it goes out without warning, and never provides
her with the kind of light she would really love to have.
... tell you what a wonderful light bulb you have, and
how any woman would die to have such a light bulb.
... tell you it's amazing that your light bulb has been
sitting alone in it's little corrugated cardboard tube for
the last six months and even more amazing that you don't
have a dozen sockets to screw it into.
... call you up at three o'clock on a Monday morning,
(destroying any chance you had of being alert, much less
coherent at that crucial business meeting at 8am) to agonise
about the fight she had with her light bulb, and to tell
you that she finally lost her temper with it and unscrewed the
light bulb forever.
... be shocked at your offer of a replacement bulb, and will
tell you that she could never screw your light bulb into
her empty socket, that doing so would ruin the light it gives out,
and that it's too good a bulb for her anyway, but that she hopes
she'll still be able to come over and talk to you about
her light bulb problems.
... go home, rummage through the trash can, find the defunct
light bulb, lovingly clean it off, screw it back into the socket,
and sit there in the dark.
... call you up every night for three months...
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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