| RHF Joke Archives | 
Some of the dregs and later comments on the Judge Clarence Thomas
affair in the USA.
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Subject: what's this?
From: ronnie@cisco.com (Ronnie Kon)
Q: What is this: "Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning,
good morning, nice tits, good morning, good morning"?
A: Clarence Thomas's first day at the Supreme Court.
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Subject: Clarence Thomas
From: SYSMATT@ukcc.uky.edu (Matt Simpson)
Senator: Judge Thomas, could you please explain to us your opinion
on Roe vs. Wade.
Thomas: Senator, I haven't seen that one, but I loved Debbie does
Dallas.
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Subject: Clarence Thomas, et.al.
From: lth00@juts.ccc.amdahl.com (Lawrence T Hardiman)
Heard at work, I think.
Clarence Thomas is alleged to have said:
Being called unethical by Ted Kennedy is like being called slimy by a snail.
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From: prabhak@cs.umn.edu (Satya Prabhakar)
WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY COURSE SCHEDULE Winter 1991
COURSE: ABSOLUTELY BASIC FUNDAMENTALS OF CROSS EXAMINATION
LECTURERS: Orrin Hatch and Arlen Specter (Guest Lecturers)
ENROLLED: Joe Biden, Ed Kennedy, Howell Heflin, Pat Leahy, Howard Metz
COURSE OUTLINE: # Why you should cross examine? How it may help you win the
case? What happens if you don't cross examine?
# Why not to ask stupid questions of an adversary witness?
(e.g., "You must be pretty outraged, Judge!)
# Why you should fierecely defend attacks on your own star
witness?
# Why you should attack your adversary witness?
# Recapitulation of absolutely basic fundamentals.
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From: markh+@andrew.cmu.edu (Mark Held)
Original, of questionable taste.
Q: What do you get when you cross Clarence Thomas and Long Dong Silver?
A: The first throbbing member of the Supreme Court.
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Subject: Headline Follies
From: dgross@viper.csc.calpoly.edu (Dave Gross)
Cal Poly's conservative newspaper, the Poly Review, took a stand
in its latest issue about the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings.
Unfortunately, their headline may have given the wrong impression:
IRONY OF HEARINGS:
THOMAS SHOWS HE'S THE BIGGER MAN
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From: djensen@claven.idbsu.edu (Dave Jensen)
Subject: Bush reveals truth about Clarence Thomas
Heard on radio news program while driving home just after the Thomas/senate
vote:
President Bush phoned Thomas to congratulate him...and among other
platitudes...said he was "an UNBELEIVABLE ROLE-MODEL for the nation."
Seems the truth comes out with when he doesn't use a script!
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From: mad5c@kelvin.seas.virginia.edu (Michael DeLong)
Subject: A Bridge In Massachusetts
To my mind the most memorable exchange that occurred during the
Thomas hearings was when Sen. Simpson blew up at Sen. Ted
Kennedy's comment regarding Prof. Hill, saying:
"If you believe that, there's a bridge in Massachusetts I'd
like to sell you."
Dear Ted might well be President if not for a bridge in
Massachusetts, if you recall.
I think that this is the closest we've some to hearing the
word "Chappaquidick" on national television since the '80
Democratic Primaries.
(Simpson later apologised to Sen. Kennedy, saying that he meant
to say "Brooklyn".)
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From: URANUS@brownvm.brown.edu
Subject: Clarence doth protest too much
It struck me during last week's hearings that Clarence Thomas seems the
sort of guy who would say just about anything to get himself off.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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